I will be focusing on my blogspot account. .

I’ll be back soon,  I won’t abandon you. I will still fill you with wonderful words.

I’ll be using my blogspot account for now but I will be back and use you again for the better

wee. this is so dramatic.

Here’s my blogsite for now.

I love you, I’ll be back, Wait for me.

I look like...eew. haha!

sana nalang naging bato ako, kasi feeling ko ang tamad tamad ko.

Ang gusto ko lang gawin ay kumain. kumain. kumain.

Marahil, iniisip mo na isa akong batugan.

Ngayon lang naman, at kapag nagrereview ako.

Stressed kasi ako. Alam mo yung tipong pagod na pagod ka na tapos madami pa pala pinagagawa sayo. Tapos kulang pa yung oras. haaay, Mahirap kaya magmakaawa sa oras na huwag muna bumigay. Kulang na lang talaga lumuhod ako na huwag muna siya mamaalam.

Nagawa ko na ata lahat ng paraan para ma-activate ko lang ang mga motivation buttons ko kaso wa-epek talaga e.

1. naglagay na ako ng bible verses sa notebook ko. C’mon excellence is the key, pero tuwing bubuksan ko na yung notebook ko para mag-aral, nauumay ako. Stock knowledge na kasi lahat. (yeah, yabang!) joke lang. Kasi naman Literature Major ako, mga exams namin hindi naman masyadong objective, duguang subjective type of test. So ayoko masyadong kabisaduhin lahat ng facts kasi alam ko malilimutan ko rin so tinatandaan ko nalang yung mga mahalaga at ang alam ko na kayang iabsorb ng aking mumunting utak.

2. wallnuts. Mauubos ko na ata to. Nanghihinayang ako. Ang mahal kaya nito sa supermarket!

3. Iniisip ko mama ko. She’s the one who’s working for living. I don’t have a dad. So iniisip ko yung mga hirap niya at sweat sa pagtatrabaho. (Mom, I love you, pero you know me naman kung pano ako magreview, napapakamot ka nalang sa ulo. Hindi ko rin alam kung pano ako nakakapasa haha!)

4. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, bibili ako ng madaming pagkain pagnatapos na ang exam. FAILED! baliktad ang nangyari, nakakain na ako lahat lahat wala pa rin ako narereview.

5. Pinipilit kong huwag magisip kaso naiisip ko talaga kung bakit hindi ako makapagreview.

Ayan. Nakita niyo naman paghihirap ko diba? Ang hirap talaga pilitin ang sarili mo na magreview pero ayaw talaga ng utak mo magreview. Malaking problema to kasi nalimutan ko na ang mga tinuro ng prof ko sa isang subject namin. Alam mo yung feeling na hirap na hirap kang intindihin siya kasi kinakain niya salita niya tapos para madecipher mo mga sasabihin niya e kailangan titigan mo ang kanyang bibig. A-E-I-O-U. Tapos bigla siyang magtatanong, at kapag hindi ka nakasagot agad ay magiging high blood siya. Haay, pambihira. Mahalaga pa man din ang subject na to sa Board exam. At ngayon, tinititigan ko ang notebook at kahit anong gawin ko ay walang nabubuong ideya sa utak ko. Haai! Kulang na lang talaga magsepuku ako para humaba ng oras.

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Ang tamad ko talaga. Sabi ng iba masipag daw ako. Charus. tamad talaga ako magreview. Masipag ako kapag gustong gusto ko talaga ang ginagawa ko. Natutulog pa ako minsan sa klase, hindi ko mapigilan. Auditory learner kasi ako, ibig sabihin mas natututo ako kapag pinapakinggan ko ang isang bagay. So madalas, pinipilit kong ipikit ang mga mata ko habang nakikinig o kaya nakatitig lang sa isang bagay para nakaconcentrate ako sa pakikinig. The downside? Nakakakatulog ako, lalo na kapag boring ang lesson. Hindi pa naman ako masyadong nahuhuli kasi nasesense ko pa rin ang paligid ko kahit tulog ako. haha. Hindi ko din alam kung paano nangyayari yun. Ganito kasi yun:

-Madalas kasi ako nakaupo sa unahan ng klase at sa gitna pa. May isa akong prof na umiikot siya sa klase habang nagdidiscuss, kapag nasa likod siya pumipikit ako at pinapakinggan ko siya, dun ako nakakatulog pero pagpapunta na siya sa unahan, nararamdaman kong may papalapit at bigla ko nalang imumulat mata ko haha!

- kahit tulog ako kapag tinawag ako nakakasagot naman ako sa tanong. Alam ko pa rin ang nangyayari kahit half-tulog ako.

Ang daldal ko na. Nakakatamad talaga. Nakapagsulat pa tuloy ako dito.

Nagmumura na ulit ang tyan ko. Ano ba yan, isang oras pa lang nakakalipas at gutom na naman ako. Buti nalang hindi ako gaanong tumataba. Payat pa din ako. Haha!

haay. Sabi nga ng classmate ko ang takaw ko daw. I need to control my ID (tanungin niyo si Freud kung ano ang ID, kung hindi niyo kilala si Sigmund Freud ay pwes, iresearch mo sa google) haay, buti nga yan yung major ID ko-food! haha! Hindi naman nagsstruggle si Ego. Sabi lang ni Super Ego, magtipid ako at magexercise. Haay. I do jogging naman e, hindi nga lang masyado ngayon kasi busy ako haha! Busy daw. Whatever.

So,paano ba yan? I keep on spoiling my ID. kakain ulit ako tapos magrereview na talaga. Promise! Promise! Promise!

Lubos na gumagalang,

Faith Andres =)

Silent faces are lost in a trance while i’m entering a rarely light train.
I can feel the speed, the fading landscape. Like those running pictures, I’m trying to cope up with the fast pace of time. Just like time, I’m holding on to the remaining beauty of morning serenity. Because Later… Life, as predicted will be different from what this morning can give me.

I’ve been terribly busy this year. I want to learn and forget. I want to remove every hidden and ugly things from my past that are hindering me from moving on to my present. I want to remove the thought of death, leaving, and attachments. I want to be independent and strong enough to face uncertainties.Lovely readers, As you noticed,all of them are all… “wants.” my wants. Forgetting on what “HE” wants. And that’s where a gargantuan realization comes in. A hardcore realization that will, totally change, not just the formation of boxes in my mind but the whole mass of me.

I thought. I succeeded. Studies keeps me from forgetting, but circumstances has its own way of making me remember those things that happened. To tell you the truth, I wanted to cry out, to destroy things that will help me remember my past. I wanted to forget the death of Kien. i wanted to forget those people whom I thought will never leave me, but they did. All i wanted to do is to forget, and every night I was begging God to help me to forgive until I forget.

And so, life goes on for everyone and for this train. But to me, for my life to keep going, I need to accept and I need to move forward. Stubborn me, I keep on looking to my past, And because I was looking at my past, I was uncertain to look ahead, because fear is there to welcome me.
And when I look back again, i’m trying to find God. I’m trying to find Him in my own sea of past and miseries.

Aargh. insensitive me. How come I didn’t realize that…

…God is actually in front and a black mist of fear is blocking my sight. I can’t face my fears alone,My train of thoughts about anxieties and fear were affecting me emotionally and physically( kaya nagkakasakit ako ee..)

So I asked for His mighty grace to remove the fear. Help me to believe. Help me to have faith.
Remind me again of your promises. Help me to breathe. And most of all, Please do come near and extinguish the mist. I wanted to feel your hand- Your hand that holds the world.

(January 2010)

I am now a bird with mended wings. Soon, I’ll travel and soar high. I don’t know when, Honestly I don’t mind when. Waiting is good knowing that you are waiting for God to move. I’m not the one who’s holding my life. I’m not the king. Jesus is the King. I don’t need any proof, gone now are my Thomas eyes. I don’t need a miracle to believe, I know He is real and because of HIM everything is beautiful, even these tears are falling. I will stand to believe that everything is beautiful even though the world is slowly dying. Why? because there is Love that changes everything.

taken from our school grassland lovely clouds,definitely created by a majestic God

*Sniff* I cried after watching this vid. I love you my God

God doesn’t create junks.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

To– by Edgar Allan Poe

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Pablo Neruda

Childless Woman by Slyvia Plath

Stopping By The Woods by Robert Frost

]]> http://faithandres.wordpress.com/2009/12/29/sandwich-express/feed/ 0 peytee sandwich guys =) http://faithandres.wordpress.com/2009/12/28/random-thoughts/ http://faithandres.wordpress.com/2009/12/28/random-thoughts/#comments Mon, 28 Dec 2009 16:16:31 +0000 Faith Andres http://faithandres.wordpress.com/?p=274 ]]> For days, I’ve been struggling on what to write. I have lots of stories to share but I can’t seem to pour it out and release it. (Nauutal ako.. haha!)

Thought#1

Lately, in a snap of reality (thanks to my calendar and endless celebration of christmas) I realized that 2009 is ending. And to tell you the truth,I don’t want this year to end, Weird huh? For me,This year is not that good and not that bad. Half of the things that happened this year were nightmares, and half of it were fairytales (minus the prince) But there’s no way to deny that this year is indeed a blessing. I learned so much from God’s intense discipline and Life’s secret messages. Most of them are painful and unacceptable to my own consciousness but I need to chew and digest it.

Here are some events that I won’t forget this year:

1. June 17,2009,the night before my 18th birthday, Kien died, and i wasn’t able to attend her wake. With pain in my heart, i suffered from depression. For four months, I was depressed, not just because of Kien’s death but also to some people whom you thought will never leave you, but they did.

2. I did plead God to take my life (effect of depression). I’m glad that our God is all-knowing and He didn’t grant this stupid request.

3. November2009 was the month I started leading praise and worship to our Youth Service. I thanked God that He assigned me to lead and usher people to His presence. Honestly, I don’t deserve it, I’m a sinner, but God demonstrate His love when Jesus died for my sins and bridge the gap between me and God. It doesn’t just apply to me, but to every people. So if you’re reading this, I want to tell you that God died for you because He loves you so much that He is willing to do everything just to have you =)

4.When people leave you, there will be replacements. i gained new and real friends! Thank You LORD!

5. The explorations and the Up’s and Down’s of growing old. I won’t forget that! haha!

6. First time I experienced na maging victim ng ala-stampede sa LRT-Vito Cruz Station nung umusok yung train. Geez, It caused me 8 swelling pasa, one sa head, 4 sa arms and 3 sa legs!

7. Two video shoots in a year. ( ENCM(PNU) promotional video and an Indie film)Enjoooy! )

8. Bye Bye Braces (June2009) and Hello Retainers!

9. My 18th Birthday!

10. Race for Life (www.igivetolife.com)

Thought#2

One sunday service, Our Senior Pastor challenged us and gave us a paper to list down the top 10 things we are grateful for this year. Well,at the back of my mind, I was like (I have tons!!!) And to tell you the truth I’m still thinking what to write in that sheet of paper because my trains of thoughts are unstoppable. I plan to do a draft here, NOW. So here it goes:

1. The mere fact that I’m still breathing,living and loving. =)

2. The fact that God didn’t take my life away during those times that I was forcing him to.

3. I thank God that he granted me an opportunity to love, learn and to accept people’s flaws, knowing that I have more.

4.

waa! Ang dami. So ito muna yung top three ) waa. forgive me.

Thought #3

I’m still addicted to coffee. haha! Hindi na yata mawawala. I need it sa mga future sleepless nights.

Thought#4

I love Puto Bumbong. It’s one of the highlights of a typical Pinoy Christmas. Hindi kumpleto ang Pasko kapag wala nito. haha! Agree?

Thought #5

I rarely cry now. Dati kasi iyakin ako, this year, hindi na. There’s no room na for crying. Umiiyak parin ako pero small amount lang, parang winisikan ka lang ng tubig sa mata )

Thought #6

I can’t write na. Ang bilis ng train of thoughts ko, Super SOC. (Stream of consciousness) haha! )

I need to read novels pa para sa pasukan! Buh-bye )

Level Up Dance Crew

Thank you Ully for this pic.

Honor God with your talents!